MEMOIR & HUMOROUS SURVIVAL GUIDE
- First Hardcover Edition
Oh Shit
A Humorous Guide to Navigating Life with Inflammatory Bowel Disease
Real stories. Hard lessons. Better days. You’re not alone — and yes, the party goes on.
Living with inflammatory bowel disease can be frightening, exhausting, confusing and, let’s face it, occasionally ridiculous. Oh Shit was written directly from inside that experience — without the sterilized clinical language or pseudo-wellness toxic positivity. ”
Matthew Koster • Author & Advocate
Koster Books • Melbourne
100% Honest
No Miracle Cures
Written from 15+ Years Living with IBD
320 Pages
Hardcover & E-Book
Audiobook Ready
Privacy Policy
Terms of Service
Medical Disclaimer
Charts & Diagrams
Visual guides to help you understand IBD, your body and treatment options.
The Digestive Tract
DIAGRAM
Bristol Stool Chart
CHART
Book Resources
Additional materials related to Oh Shit, including chapter guides, reading lists and more.
Chapter Summaries
GUIDE
genetics and environment
CHART
Practical Tools
Helpful checklists, trackers and printable resources to make everyday life a little easier.
The Shit Kit
GUIDE
IBD Treatment Pyramid
IBD Treatment Pyramid A step-up approach to care
The Shit Kit
GUIDE
New resources coming soon
Check back regularly as we continue to add useful charts, guides, tools and more.
LIVED REALITY • CHAPTER DISPATCHES
Honest Tales from Inside the Trenches
PROLOGUE • EPISODE 01
15 Years in the Wilderness
Fifteen agonizing years of chronic abdominal pain, dismissed repeatedly by practitioners as simple “stress and run-of-the-mill IBS.” Learning that trusting your own body is often the hardest medical battle.
15-Year Diagnostic Arc
DIAGNOSTIC CHAOS • CHAPTER 4
Crohn’s or Colitis?
Diagnosed with Crohn’s by one chief specialist, and with Ulcerative Colitis by another the next Tuesday. The loaded gun of genetics meeting the triggers of modern life.
15-Year Diagnostic Arc
Chronic illness is messy, confronting, and frequently hilarious when observed through the lens of pure survival.
DIETARY MADNESS • CHAPTER 8
The Blender Experiments
No secret 11 herbs and spices could save pureed zucchini chicken soup. After four weeks of pureed puritanism, I started suspecting the blender was having far more fun consuming my meals than I was.
The Culinary Lows
LIFE INTEGRATION • CHAPTER 12
More Than Just a Gut
Managing dating, career anxiety, surgical stomas, and city-wide bathroom radar mapping. Surviving a dysfunctional gut doesn’t mean putting your actual life and intimate relationships on permanent standby.
City Bathroom Cartography
Anatomical Mechanics • Chapter 2 Spotlight
Navigating the Plumbing: What Actually Happens In There
From the esophagus and duodenum down to the ascending colon, ileum, and rectum — understanding why your digestive tract feels like a volatile chemical reactor. Matthew breaks down complex gastroenterological architecture into clear, demystified human language with medical precision and warm, relatable humor.
Distinguishing Small vs. Large Bowel Disease
Full Color Diagnostic Reference in First Edition
EXCLUSIVE BOOK PREVIEW FEATURE
The Shit Dictionary
The unfiltered, hilarious, and genuinely practical A–Z vocabulary guide every IBD veteran, partner, and caregiver knows all too well.
Bowel Prep & The Kit
NOUN / LIVED REALITY
The liquid laxative gauntlet designed to turn your GI tract into a sparkling slip ’n slide — accompanied by pathology's finest high-tech diagnostic cutlery.
“Two wooden takeaway forks, a specimen jar, and a biohazard bag: medical science at its culinary peak.”
Dictionary Entry #08
Pronunciation: /‘baʊ.əl prɛp/
Bowel Prep & The Kit
NOUN / LIVED REALITY
The liquid laxative gauntlet designed to turn your GI tract into a sparkling slip ’n slide — accompanied by pathology's finest high-tech diagnostic cutlery.
“Two wooden takeaway forks, a specimen jar, and a biohazard bag: medical science at its culinary peak.”
Dictionary Entry #08
Pronunciation: /‘baʊ.əl prɛp/
Colitis vs. Clitoris
NOUN / LIVED REALITY
The liquid laxative gauntlet designed to turn your GI tract into a sparkling slip ’n slide — accompanied by pathology's finest high-tech diagnostic cutlery.
“Two wooden takeaway forks, a specimen jar, and a biohazard bag: medical science at its culinary peak.”
Dictionary Entry #08
Pronunciation: /‘baʊ.əl prɛp/
Bowel Prep & The Kit
NOUN / LIVED REALITY
The liquid laxative gauntlet designed to turn your GI tract into a sparkling slip ’n slide — accompanied by pathology's finest high-tech diagnostic cutlery.
“Two wooden takeaway forks, a specimen jar, and a biohazard bag: medical science at its culinary peak.”
Dictionary Entry #08
Pronunciation: /‘baʊ.əl prɛp/
Flare-Up
NOUN / LIVED REALITY
The liquid laxative gauntlet designed to turn your GI tract into a sparkling slip ’n slide — accompanied by pathology's finest high-tech diagnostic cutlery.
“Two wooden takeaway forks, a specimen jar, and a biohazard bag: medical science at its culinary peak.”
Dictionary Entry #08
Pronunciation: /‘baʊ.əl prɛp/
Bowel Prep & The Kit
NOUN / LIVED REALITY
The liquid laxative gauntlet designed to turn your GI tract into a sparkling slip ’n slide — accompanied by pathology's finest high-tech diagnostic cutlery.
“Two wooden takeaway forks, a specimen jar, and a biohazard bag: medical science at its culinary peak.”
Dictionary Entry #08
Pronunciation: /‘baʊ.əl prɛp/
Bowel Prep & The Kit
NOUN / LIVED REALITY
The liquid laxative gauntlet designed to turn your GI tract into a sparkling slip ’n slide — accompanied by pathology's finest high-tech diagnostic cutlery.
“Two wooden takeaway forks, a specimen jar, and a biohazard bag: medical science at its culinary peak.”
Dictionary Entry #08
Pronunciation: /‘baʊ.əl prɛp/
COMPANION MATERIALS & SURVIVAL ASSETS
Tools for the Trenches
Every pre-order edition of Oh Shit includes immediate access to practical, downloadable survival kits designed for real doctor visits and daily peace of mind.
Clinical Navigation Matrix
The IBD Treatment Pyramid: A Step-Up Approach to Care
Understanding the medical progression from first-line 5-ASA medications and temporary steroids, through immunosuppressants, targeted biologic therapies, and JAK inhibitors, up to surgical interventions. Designed so patients and loved ones can clearly see where they stand on the care ladder.
Treatment is Personal: Work with your healthcare team to find your right path.
Included in First Edition Suite
High-Res Doctor-Visit PDF
Print & Digital Sheet
Daily Flare & Symptom Journal
A zero-jargon, clinically aligned logging sheet designed to track Bristol classifications, pain triggers, fatigue spikes, and medication reactions without taking more than 60 seconds a day.
Included in Pre-Order Bundle
Free Bonus PDF
Wallet Printable & Mobile Pass
Urgent Bathroom Access Script Card
Discreet, authoritative wallet cards and Apple/Google Wallet digital passes with clear, respectful medical urgency language for flight attendants, shop clerks, cafes, and train conductors.
Official Koster Pass
Digital & Physical
Nutritional Compass
Gentle IBD Tolerance Matrix
A sane guide distinguishing soluble vs. insoluble fibre, low-residue flare staples, and the real psychological rules for navigating dinner parties without apologizing for your plate.
Curated by Patient Experience
Quick-Reference PDF
GLOBAL PUBLICATION RELEASE • 1 DECEMBER 2026
The IBD Treatment Pyramid: A Step-Up Approach to Care
Pre-ordering directly funds independent, patient-led chronic illness storytelling. Each subscriber receives a stamped collector’s hardcover, the companion survival printouts, and immediate digital chapter previews.
Included in First Edition Suite
High-Res Doctor-Visit PDF
AUD $45.00 RRP
$34
.95 AUD
Special Pre-Order Imprint Price
The Author Story
Why Koster Books Was Born
Matthew Koster
Author • Patient Advocate • Publisher
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
“I’m not a doctor. I’m simply someone who got sick, asked a ridiculous number of questions, made some catastrophic mistakes, and decided to write down what actually helped.”
For over fifteen years, Matthew navigated the dizzying, often demoralizing maze of chronic inflammatory bowel disease. Between endless hospital waits, contradictory dietary theories, and the quiet isolation of recurring flares, one thing became clear: clinical pamphlets gave data, but zero dignity.
Mainstream wellness publishing often swings between tragic clinical case studies or patronizing “stay positive” wellness mantras. Koster Books was established in Melbourne to bridge that chasm. We publish literature that addresses chronic illness with the raw honesty, sharp wit, and literary polish it truly deserves.
Laughter as Dignity
Demystifying the taboo through humor, humanity, and unflinching truth.
Community First
Validating patients, partners, family members, clinicians, and carers.
Read Matthew’s Sample Chapters ->
Independent Patient-Led Literature
Real stories. Hard lessons. Better days.
Join over 2,400 fellow patients, partners, and clinicians reading early dispatches. Get the complete Introduction and Chapters 1–3 instantly in your inbox.